Gardening.

My mom's garden is so big. Usually my uncle takes care of it, but lately I've been the one watering it. 

I haven't had to pick anything because he picked a couple days ago, but I needed some tomatoes!!!! There were sooooooo many, I will have to go back out later when I have more time to get the rest.

Anyone in Fresno need tomatoes?

This is just from 15 minutes of picking, half a bucket!!! I also picked some strawberries, squash, and okra.

I've learned:

- that gardening is pretty relaxing.

- I need to buy some gardening boots or my cute ones will be ruined.

- that gloves are definitely required when picking squash.

- to ignore the frogs.

- be gentle with the plants. Be consistent with watering them. If you take care of them, they'll take care of you by providing the juiciest gifts ever.

Embracing love.

I have been battling really dark thoughts for a while now.

It is really frustrating and really hard to communicate these things to my husband, who happens to be the complete opposite.

I hate how my mind is always against me.

I am trying to love myself and everyone around me, but lately it has been tough.

Dill, if you're reading this, just know I love you so much. You and Opal are the best things to ever happen to me. I love you both, so so so so much.

I'm really trying to be a happy lady.

Papa.

So, I moved home to help my mom out for a while this month.

Life here is bananas.

My mom had shoulder surgery a year ago, and they hadn't let her go back to work until this month. She can't lift anything over 10 lbs, and has lots of pain still with her left side. Doing everyday things is pretty tough, and takes her so much longer to do them. It's hard for her to even do things like laundry, dishes, and sewing. It's pretty heartbreaking to watch her not be able to sew, because that is her most favorite thing to do. 

In December, about. A week before Opal was born, my papa was driving and blacked out (from his heart medication) behind the wheel. His truck went into a tree and was totaled. Had he been in a smaller vehicle, he wouldn't be here today. 

Well, he's been rehabilitating his new hip and learning to walk again since then.. Up until 2 weeks ago. 

He was using his walker to walk in front of the house and lost balance, fell, and fractured the same hip again.

SO, now he is back in a rehabilitation facility learning to walk again.

And me? I'm here helping my mom with housekeeping, watching my younger sister, and waiting for papa to return home. Once he is home I will taking him to his physical therapy and doctors appointments at the Veteran's hospital.

Hopefully things here will be back to normal before I leave again. I really hate being away knowing that my mom and sister need my help.

Big life decisions.

So, I have no clue what my future holds for me!!!!

Dillon decided to reenlist, and I'm not sure how I feel about it yet... Especially because I have no idea where were going to be stationed.

So, I need to start looking for a rental, here in Fresno until then.. And that means I need furniture also.

I had an appointment to see a house that I thought for sure was THE one; but the realtor never showed up.. She has a bunch of showings for the same house this week, none of which I can make it to. So, I am taking it as a sign that this is not the house for Opal and I.

Bummer, for sure.

My sister and I decided to go look at furniture since that ended up not working out.

We had a blast! Still not sure what I want, where I'm going to live, or anything for the next year... But, hey.. At least I have Opal, good health, and family to support me.

Here are some pictures from today's adventures with my sister Reyna.

We were babies.

This is a photo of our first kiss as husband and wife. 

I'll always love this photo.

I'll always love this man.

We have no been married for over 2 years and some months. It hasn't been a walk in the park... Unless that park has a lot of hot lava, dragons, and sword fights...

Marriage is something that takes a lot of hard work.

It is like a garden. Unless you water it, shower it with lots of love, attention, and faith; it'll never blossom.

That's something you can never lose sight of.. Because when it is blossoming and full of love, man... Life is great. Marriage is awesome.

I can't wait to be back under the same roof.

Here are some throwback photos of us.

Distance.

Being away from Dillon is so hard. It is so hard to show someone all the love in your heart for them when you are 3,000 miles away.

I am guilty.

I get upset over really small things so easily because I am upset with the situation. I really need to work on not pushing the people I love the most away from me when in reality I want them closer than ever.

Siiiigh.

I wish I was stronger.

Do you ever have that struggle within yourself when you want to be vulnerable, but for some reason you just can't seem to be 100% out there? I find myself in this situation often. 

Sometimes, I wish my husband was a mind reader so that I didn't have to explain all of my crazy actions and whatnot. For example: On some days, when I just need some extra loving... If he somehow knew it without me asking.... That'd be like a dream come true.

But he's not a mind reader, and I'm still crazy...

Sigh...

Oh, distance.. Can ya give me a break.

P.S. 

Dillon, 

our love is bigger than the distance inbetween us.

I love you with my entire being.

Xoxo

California.

This past weekend, Dillon, the baby, and I drove from washington, DC to my hometown, Fresno, ca. I am so happy to be back home! The only bummer is that Dillon is still stationed back in DC until next year.

To celebrate Opal being 6 months old, and for Father's Day, we did a photoshoot! It was so much fun!! 

Here are some of the shots.