Today I was chatting with Dillon about my next blog post and he had suggested sharing my experience doing 100% of the parenting for the past couple of months that we've been living across the country from each other.
At first, I really didn't even want to talk about it. I don't know if I should refer to myself as a "single" parent, because I'm not single. I have a wonderful husband who is so supportive, emotionally and financially. I don't carry the same burdens or challenges that single mothers and fathers (who have no support from the other parent) have. I would never want to compare the two.
I also didn't want to talk about it because I wouldn't want to offend my husband in any way. He is seriously such a great daddy and husband, and I don't want him to feel bad or to think that I don't need him. That's absolutely not true. I need him badly! Parenting is much more enjoyable with the support of another person.
But- I have been thinking about it all day...
I just want to say, as someone who grew up in a home that once had physical violence, then a father in prison, and raised by a struggling single mom... I know how hard it can be. I have always admired my mom for how amazing she is, how determined, and strong.. She never relied on anyone else to provide for my sisters and I, aside from the occasional help from my grandparents. I thank God every day that I was raised by such a beautiful and independent woman.
And here I am, currently living with her again, with a baby of my own. She is such a great grandma! She helps me so much, but not in the diaper changing way. She actually has probably only changed 3 diapers in the past few months. (Lucky her!) Her help actually comes in motivation, positive words, great advice, and the occasional "Chelsea, you need to calm down."..
I also have been getting help from my sisters, Marissa and Reyna. They've been the ones to watch Opal while I shower, do my makeup or eat. They are still trying to adjust to having a baby in the household, so its not always easy to ask them, honestly.
Being Opal's only parent physically right now is tiring. I wish I could just hand her to my husband and take a long hot bath, paint my toes, and draw. Those days are nowhere near the present... So I will have to continue to look forward to them as I go crazy at 3 am when I just want her to sleep.
I don't know if it is just because she has 5 teeth cutting through right now that it seems harder, but damn... I am exhausted.
She's been SO fussy, constantly wants to be held... BY ME ONLY.. She will fight a nap all day, and wait until 2 am to fall asleep. And when she finally sleeps, it is in my bed. If I try to move her to the crib she will wake up.. and then it is a nightmare to put her to bed again.. which will eventually be in my bed. Did I mention I am sleeping in a twin size bed right now? Then, when I finally fall asleep around 3, I'll be woken up at 4:30 am for another nursing session. And then awoken again by 8 am the latest... At which point I have to get us up and ready for the day.
I just can't imagine my entire life doing this alone. I hope Dillon and I will be under the same roof as soon as possible!
I want to tell every parent doing it alone, that I have so much respect for you and everything you do for your children. It is hard work being a stay at home mom, I can't imagine being the breadwinner and sole parent alone. Breaks are few and far between as it is, I seriously don't know how I would do it all.
