Anyone else have a weird spouse? Well, I for sure have a strange one. Over the years I am still asking myself, "what the heck is this man talking about?!" I can't go anywhere without this man asking or saying ridiculous things. So over the past week I've jotted down my favorite quotes from the man himself.
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While in a Target Parking lot: "Red trash... Why did I say red trash... A red neck that's trashy??"
(I was reading an email and have no clue what the heck he was even rambling about. It was just super funny to randomly hear.)
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While sitting on the sofa: "I stepped on a rubber ducky and thought it was a mouse."
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While driving and seeing a moving truck drive by:
Dillon: "We could call them" [two men and a truck]
Me: "Yeah we could"
Dillon: "Or we could call two marines."
Me: "Ooh or college hunks"
Dillon: "Yeah... Wait no."
While casually talking to each other:
Me: "I need a new phone case."
Dillon: *Aggressive tone and face* "OKAY. DID YOU LOOK ON GROUPON?"
This man is obsessed with groupon goods lately..
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While driving:
*Tantrum* "I HATE WAITING. WAITING IS NO LONGER IN MY VOCABULARY. I won't make a marine wait again. 'Oh your pay is messed up? SIT DOWN.'"
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While shopping at lowes:
Me: "The exit is right there."
Dillon: "You mean salad?" [salida]
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Me: "Why would I go to target and the mall with the kids alone?"
Dillon: "Because you're Chelsea and you like going to target."
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I jotted this down because he is actually sweet sometimes:
(We were in a chic fil a parking lot)
Me:"Did you get ketchup?"
Dillon:"I got barbecue"
Me: "Hmm"
Dillon: "Do you want me to go back inside and get you some?"
Me: "Would that be a hassle?"
Dillon: "Nothing is a hassle for you."
I have a weird kid too.
Me: "Are you hungry?"
Opal: "Noooo"
Dillon: "Want chicken nuggets?"
Opal: "No"
Me: "French fries?"
Opal: "Yeah!"
Aren't toddlers the funniest? French fries are always a hit, right?
Now back to Dillon.
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We were driving to New Jersey and saw a
kid consignment store that I wanted to go into but it was 6 am.
kid consignment store that I wanted to go into but it was 6 am.
Me: "I wish they were open."
Dillon: "I don't, you'd probably make me stop."
Me: "I would! When's the next time I'm gonna get to go there?!"
Dillon: "Probably this afternoon on our way home."
*driving fast leaving the toll booth*
"This is when you kick it."
^^what the heck does that mean?^^
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*driving past sign for New York.
Dillon: "Well babe, I guess we are going to New York.... Or as the people there say, York."
Me: "Nobody calls it York."
Dillon: "Well the people from New Jersey call it jersey."
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"This is a pretty good place to play hide and seek." *pointing to forest*
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At a Denny's in New Jersey:
Dillon: "That lady's name is Beat Rice. What a horrible name."
Me: ".....you mean Beatrice?"
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I mentioned how my tank top kept going really low and showing my bra:
Dillon: "It's like your shirt is playing limbo. 'How low can you go...!'" *proceeds to shimmy*
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"Are boogers biodegradable?"
I hope you have a weekend filled with fun!
We are spending our weekend packing and cleaning before the movers get here on Tuesday!
It is finally time to leave DC for good!!
:-)
xoxo, Chels.
