I just got home from a typical "day alone with the kids" errand run and wanted to write about my day. First off, I've noticed I keep getting comments from the husband and family that I do things the "mom way" or that I look like a mom.
For example:
"Yeah, this car is a mom car." -Dillon
"No you look fine. You can pull that off because you look like a mom... Not in a bad way." -baby sister
"That's how you know Chelsea is a mom- she has everything." -younger sister [referring to me overpacking on our trip to the snow]
I'm not offended by these comments, but I do question if I am letting my being a mom take over my identity... And if I am, how do I feel about that- really. This topic is probably something I'd love to hear feedback on from fellow moms out there while I really sit down and write out my answer for a later post. But in short- I really want the other parts of my identity (artist, maker, entrepreneur, etc) to be things people think of when they see/ speak to/ meet me to be just as noticeable. And if they're not, how do I change that?
On another note, I had a tough day *as a mom. I won't say that I felt like a failure, but I am afraid that other people who saw me thought I was.
Today, Dillon started his second job and was gone working at both of them. I set out a to-do list of normal things like laundry, baths, tidying up. I also planned a quick trip to joanns and Costco.
On my way to run those errands Opal asked to go to the park, so I figured it would tire her out and she might sit in the cart and be pretty chill while we were out. Well, my 15 minute stop at the park turned into an hour...
When we first arrived I let Opal go play. There were a bunch of parents that were there but they all were the hover-type. You know, they stand 2 feet away from their kids the whooooole time and don't let them do anything without help... Well I am not that parent. Opal can do a lot without me, and when she can't she lets me know.
Well, because I don't hover they looked at me like I was nuts.. Then my husband happened to call on his break between job shifts and so of course I took it! So because I spent 10 whole minutes not hovering AND I was on the phone all of these people were giving me looks like I was a not-so-great mom. It sucked, but I can't really apologize at this point. I missed my man and my kid was fine.
Then my 15 minute stop at joanns turned into a whole hour while Opal ran the opposite direction and made a mess on every aisle. Again with the looks.
The real icing on the cake was when she decided to lay down in front of the cut-counter and would. not. get. up. At this point I was nearly in tears and I left as soon as they finally cut my fabric.
I tried though, I'm not sure what else to say about it other than I freakin tried. I just needed to get some stuff done but my two year old was being a two year old today.
So to all my sisters out there that are having rough days because your kids are just being kids.... It's alright. You are not alone and my day was tough for the same reason. Let's all try to remember that we have only a certain amount of control when it comes to this stuff and not to judge each other.
Side note- shout out to the fellow mama who helped me pick up and move all of my pizza/ salad earlier this week at Pieology after Opal spilled my drink everywhere... She was seriously sweet and didn't need to help- but she did and I was so grateful for that.
